Telling it like it is.

Yesterday, I ran into an old friend at the mall. She was there with her husband and their beautiful, adorable three month old son. I asked her how things were going with the new baby. She responded with things like:

"Good!"
"He's sleeping well."
"He's a great baby."

She also said:

"The first six weeks were reeeally hard. Nobody told me how difficult it would be. I was ready to trade him in."

It's true. The first six+ weeks of a child's life are brutal on a parent. You don't sleep. You barely eat. You forget who you are and what you did five minutes ago. Showering is a luxury.

It's challenging. It sucks. And nobody tells you any of this ahead of time. It got me thinking that there's a lot of stuff nobody tells you when you become a parent. Here are a few truths I've learned:

• Bribery = Sanity. Before becoming parents, most people swear they'll never bribe their little angel. Their child is going to listen to their every command. Nuclear meltdowns will not be thrown in the middle of a busy Target. Everyone will enjoy a nice, quiet meal in a restaurant. Blah, blah, blah.
  
  These people are delusional. I like to call it "incentives" instead of bribery, but let's be honest. It is what it is and it's a necessary parenting tool at times.
  




• Minivans rock. Pre-children, I swore up and down and left and right and even diagonally that I would neverevereverever have a minivan. Ever. I looooved our small SUV (a Hyundai Santa Fe) and the five of us fit in it perfectly. That is, until the kids went out of their infant carriers and into their convertible car seats. Then Dustyn, my step-son, had to sit in the trunk because there was no room for him in the back seat anymore.
  
  I'm not kidding. He literally sat IN THE TRUNK. Poor kid. He was such a trooper.
  
  After weighing our options, we reluctantly decided on *gulp* .... a minivan. We immediately felt our coolness levels plummet.
  
  But, shortly after acquiring said van, we realized how wrong we were. This thing was awesome! There was room for all five of us, the dogs, our things, groceries, the kitchen sink. It makes life so much easier. And, let's be honest...when you become a parent you lose a few things: freedom, some money and what's considered cool/hip. (Do people even use the word "hip" anymore?) It becomes about survival and comfort instead of looking cool.
  
  



• Time changes suck. When you set the clocks back an hour in the Fall, you no longer gain an hour of sleep. You gain an hour of children in your day. My kids were awake at 6am instead of 7am this morning. I remember when setting clocks back meant one more hour to party before having to be home by curfew. Now, I'm trying to convince my kids to go back to bed and hang out there for another hour.
  
  When you set the clocks forward in the Spring, your kids lose an hour of sleep. Pre-parenting, you don't realize how important one hour of sleep can be to you and your child. But, it could mean the difference between a happy child and a smooth-sailing day and a grumpy child and a day ending with Mom guzzling a bottle of wine.
  

They also don't really tell you that, despite the rough newborn stage, lack of sleep, loss of coolness and pre-determined parenting expectations, it is all absolutely worth it. Just make sure you budget a little extra wine in your monthly expenses.