Fixin' the beak.

Next week, I meet with two plastic surgeons for consultations on my revision rhinoplasty & septoplasty.

Or, as I like to call it, "fixing what Dr. Dumb Ass fucked up."

It's been a little over a year since my nose surgery. You're not supposed to have a second surgery until at least a year has passed. Amazingly, it takes that long for things to completely heal and shift into place. I've even seen pictures of people five years after surgery and the shape of their noses had changed, compared to the one year mark. Crazy.

When it comes down to it, my nose is funked. Big time.

My breathing issues are worse than before my surgery. AND I have crazy cosmetic issues that I am extremely self-conscious about.

It was really tough for me to get used to my "new nose" after surgery; something I was not prepared for. Even now, it's tough for me to look at pictures of myself pre-surgery. Maybe if it had been successful, I wouldn't be like that. But, who knows.

So, I have made appointments with three plastic surgeons. Two next week and the third in the first week of April. Two of these doctors are some of the best in the country. Their offices are in Chicago, which is quite a hike for me. And I know that there is a lot of driving to and from after surgery. So, it might be a bit of a hassle if I select one of these doctors.

But, it's not going to be any more of a hassle than recovering from a shitty surgery and dealing with knowing all the money and time you spent was for not. I'd rather drive to the city every dang day.

I am very ready to have this surgery and move on with my life. I want to have it fixed and go thru the recovery. I don't want to have a funked up nose. I want to breathe well. I don't want to worry about whether people notice the imperfections that are so extremely obvious to me. I want to look at pictures of myself and be happy with what I see. And, did I mention I want to breathe??

However, no matter how ready I am, the whole process gives me major anxiety. I am mad at Dr. Dumb Ass for screwing things up. Trusting another doctor to fix things, when I know that revision rhinoplasty & septoplasty is one of the most complicated plastic surgeries out there, is going to be tough. I thought I had it right last time. I was wrong.

I'll let you know how it turns out. Wish me luck!