Weathering the storm

I know I've dropped off the face of the earth.

I haven't posted.

I haven't texted as often as I normally do.

I'm sorry.

Things are so busy and crazy and stressful right now. And, honestly, I'm tired. Blogging and texting are the last things on my mind.

Sleeping? Sleeping is definitely one of the top things on my mind.

Let's see if I can fill you in...

We leave for California a week from today. The children still have no idea we're going. I'm going to wait to tell them until next Monday or Tuesday. And, even then, they'll not know about going to Disneyland until we get to California. One exciting thing at a time.

We have all our ducks in a row: hotels, car, Disney tickets, dog boarding, transport to/from airport, etc. Just need to pack and go.

It'll be very nice to get away. And to see Dustyn.
Especially to see Dustyn.

The house has been on the market for a month now and we've yet to have a single showing. The only reason this could be is that "they" think we're overpriced. We're not overpriced. We are priced for the market and where our house is valued at. However, there are literally handfuls of foreclosures out there that we're competing with. We need to lower the price of the house and go to closing with $25-30K just to LEAVE, or we decide to rent.

I think Kim is leaning towards renting, but I'm still not convinced. Luckily, we live very close to the Navy base, so finding a military family will be easy. And, if they are late on their payments or do anything to the house, the military will track them down and dock their pay. But....ugh. I really want to cut the cord and move out and on. The thought of renting this place for years gives me anxiety. Years.

But, then again, going to closing with such a huge amount of money just to get rid of the house gives me anxiety, too.

I'm not sure what the answer is.

I just know we need to be moved this summer so the kids can be registered for school.

I have my last plastic surgery consult next week. I almost cancelled the appointment when I found out he charges $250 just for the consult. This is non-refundable, of course, but will go towards my surgery if I chose this doctor.

*sigh*

$250 is a drop in the bucket compared to what I'm going to be paying to get this shnoz fixed, but it still seems like a lot of money. Especially when my gut is telling me I won't be going with this doctor.

I thought about cancelling the appointment and going with Dr. D. My surgery is booked for May 19 with him, anyway. And he is an AMAZING doctor. I know he will help me. However, I pictured myself on the day of surgery, in the hospital gown, getting wheeled in, wondering, panicking, "OMG. Did I make the right decision?? I should've gone to see Dr. T. Just for one more consult. It would've been worth the $250."

The thought gave me major anxiety. It freaked me out.
So, I'm keeping my appointment with Dr. T. and paying the $250. If I don't go with him, so what? At least I'll know.

And, $250 for peace of mind is totally worth it these days.

I could use all the peace of mind I could get.

Because, these days, I feel like I'm in a tornado. Whirling and zipping around, not knowing when or where I'm going to land. I wish I could just fast foward thru the summer and get to the fall. In a new house. With the kids in a new school. Post-surgery, recovering. Looking for a new job.

I know that life gets shitty and stressful every now and then. We all go thru times where things are calm. Where you can actually sit back, have a drink and BREATHE. And then there are days, months, years where the storms come thru. It's tiring. It's exhausting. Scary. However, you have no choice but to weather it and come out alive.

Hold on to whatever or whoever you can, as tightly as you can, and get thru it.

And, sometimes, taking an occasional nap helps, too.